Have you ever waited for an apology that you knew you rightfully deserve? It feels like you're waiting forever. And then when it does come, it kind of blindsides you and all the things you thought you'd feel and think and say don't manifest and you're left not know how to respond. That's the feeling I got today as I picked up my iPhone this morning and saw a FB message from my ex Will.

So lets start from the beginning. Currently in Pullman it's extremely cold so my roommates and I decided to have a 'little' party on Friday. It was a great relief for me since Jake and I got in to it shortly after our 1 year anniversary and and shit went down between two of our friends that are enngaged this Wednesday. So a party was MUCH welcomed.

And our party was awesome! We had a really good turnout and got to meet a lot of new people. We even had a slumber party afterwards =] So when I woke up this morning I decided to check my FB for new friend request. So as I was checking and adding new friends to my account, I came across Willy's name. I was kind of taken aback at first-- it was completely unexpected. I had my worst break-up with Willy. He refused to talk to me and ended up moving away after about a week later and I was always left trying to figure out what happened.

Well after I added him on FB he sent me this message:

and my brain was like, Holy cow! Am I even reading this? An apology wasn't what I was expecting to receive today and most certainly not from him. So after I told him that I forgave him a while back and talked for a bit, I finally was able to muster the courage to ask why things ended the way the did. and he respond by saying this:


I honestly didn't know how to respond to it, so after a long while I just typed out 'I guess that makes sense.' And in a way it did but at the same time, it just didn't sit right with me.

And maybe it was because I was still in shock? Or maybe it will never sit right with me, I don't really know. But at the end of everything, I really do appreciate him reaching out. It really did fill a hole that I thought was already sealed.

I talked to Jake about it today too. He wasn't really happy about it but then ended up coming to the same conclusion I did; Strange, but everything happens for a reason and who knows maybe it will make me feel better about things later?

I don't know, guess we'll see about this later.

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Blogged on ♥21 Jan 2012